I never win anything. Never

I never win anything. If I were to participate in a raffle and I was to be the only one – I’d still lose. Some technicality would crop up and the whole thing would be cancelled.

I guess I belong to the breed of people who are bound to work for everything. I also probably somehow contribute to it. I don’t buy a lottery ticket, and I don’t gamble. Friendly office bet aside.

What’s worse is that I can’t even lose properly. At the office we have a Premier-League fantasy game going on. I managed to hold on to last place quite firmly. So firmly I already took hold of the wooden-spoon and placed it on my desk. Oh the vanity came back to bite as my team went from last to second to last last week. With just a few games left my team seems determined to win more games.

So from the glory of one end of the table to the obscurity of, well, somewhere not at either end.

The only problem in this well deserved rant is that I could be called a liar. Yup. I did win. Twice. $50 and $20. Once minutes before getting married and once just after finding out the missus is pregnant with our first son.

The one with the wedding is quite interesting, I’d like to think. See, we got married in Vegas. No we were not drunk, and no Elvis didn’t perform the ceremony. But it was in a drive-through. But no, we didn’t order fries with it.

It was an idea the missus had after watching an episode of Coach where coach and his girl get married in a drive-through.

So minutes before the limo picked us up (after all we can’t walk through the drive-through) I went passed a slot machine. One of those big ones that are too posh for a quarter and take only $5 notes. Having inserted the money and a second before pooling the lever I thought comically to myself – “If I win – I marry, if I don’t – I don’t”. $50 I won. And I did marry. Though I am pretty sure had I lost again I would still married.

But except these two extraordinary occasions I keep losing. Maybe it has something with the fact that  I really don’t care so much about winning as I just love the suspense.

I guess I am not the lucky type. No, scratch that – I am very lucky. Just not when it comes to betting and betting (friendly bets). After all I did find a lady who is bonkers enough to marry me, or worse have children with me.


About snailonabike
I cycle, I run, I live, I have a family, I write code for a living, I have an opinion

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